Lord of the Kaffeehaus

The typical Kaffeehaus waiter is the antithesis of the chirpy, ever-smiling staff of today's service industries. Usually male, middle-aged, wearing a tuxedo and familiar with the titles, political views and favourite hot drinks of the regulars, the Kaffeehaus waiter is a creature of habit – as well as a pernickety selector of favourites. Because here, in a unique reversal of roles, it is the customer who has to win over the waiter, not vice versa.

Until the customer is recognised as worthy, the waiter may display various degrees of grumpiness, irritation and sarcasm. This is not rudeness, but an integral part of the Kaffeehaus tradition that is often referred to as 'Viennese charm'. Once you have achieved a certain standing at a Kaffeehaus – through generous tips, reciprocating the waiter's attitude and repeat visits – you may be awarded a title, such as doctor (Herr/Frau Doktor) or privy councillor (Herr/Frau Geheimrat), and be addressed as such henceforth. The highest ranking regulars are greeted with a reverential 'The usual, professor?'